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While sometimes endlessly alluring, overeating doesn’t actually satisfy any of our true and deepest hungers. These deep hungers are messages from the soul. We need to listen deeply to these messages in order to satisfy all of our hungers. We learn how to listen deeply to the messages from our soul by being deeply listened to, and when we combine deep listening with some easy to use and easy to repeat methods, the pattern of overeating and food addiction is gently and effectively unraveled.

Many folks are surprised to discover that overeating and addiction to food are not character defects or a signs of failure. They are an attempt by the person to address and work on various aspects of the self and life. When we frame these patterns as defects or failures or signs of dysfunction we are missing the inherent wisdom within us that is driving these behaviors. We tend to think of any addiction as an indication of self destructive tendencies. We then go about trying to extinguish these tendencies. Ultimately this leads to ignoring, denying and suppressing important parts of ourselves and our past which always just bring us right back to the food. When we can approach these patterns with gentleness and compassion, with curiosity and respect we can learn from the patterns. We discover what we are really hungry for and we discover what is actually driving the behaviors. Only then can we find ways to focus and respond to what is underlying the behaviors.

Unraveling the patterns of food addiction and overeating is twofold because it is both simple and complex. The pattern may have started in one profound single instance like so many compulsive behaviors. After that first moment there are usually many following moments where we learn many other uses of food. Each use of food is significant and deserves respect, understanding and compassion. That first event is the start of the journey. Sometimes we aren’t able to pinpoint or access that first moment when food is linked to other things. Sometimes these events occur in infancy. So we work backwards looking at all the other events that support and reinforce the use of food. They always offer clues around and about the first event. We can still address the heart of the pattern even if we can’t pinpoint that first moment. Unraveling the pattern requires repetitive use of the methods that I offer. Some clients stop drinking or smoking after a single session but these behaviors are different in that unlike eating neither is required for survival. Many people, myself included, have seen first hand that when we fast and the food is completely eliminated for a short while the challenges that come up for folks with food addiction are completely absent because all the controversies around eating and overeating are eliminated. Complete elimination of a particular substance is the goal for many addictions. We all know that repetitive and compulsive fasting is not the answer to overeating and food addiction and often leads to more and severe disturbances in the relationship we have to food and our bodies. We have to eat and we have to eat several times a day. We need methods that allow us to eat well with ease, pleasure, awareness and with wisdom. The methods that I share with my clients are simple and easy to use and repeat. When we give ourselves over to the process of compassionate and courageous self exploration we actually find that the pattern of overeating and food addiction can takes us on a journey where the destination is the discovery of our best selves. We arrive at this destination by way of respect, curiosity, gentleness, compassion and recognition of our own inherent wisdom. And we find ourselves relinquishing old patterns with food not because it is a good idea, diets are great idea, but because the old patterns are truly no longer rewarding anymore.

So much shame and guilt and disapproval is heaped on ourselves for our relationship with food and our bodies and this makes it even harder to explore, evolve and resolve this pattern. I remember sitting in a 12 step meeting many years ago with other folks who were also negotiating with their relationship with food and thinking food addiction wasn’t as as glamorous or cool and edgy as alcoholism or drug addiction. I actually felt envious of other people’s addiction! It’s not that I didn’t use drugs and alcohol at that time but food was my true and main drug of choice. I used those other things to distract myself from food. I had so much shame and self loathing for having this pattern that I looked at others who were in terrible pain and struggling too and thought they were “lucky” because their addiction was legitimate while mine was ridiculous. Countless clients of mine tell me about their shame and self loathing and anger, even rage, with and for themselves at having to deal with their relationship with food and their bodies. One of the many reasons why we are so reluctant to hone in on this pattern is because we feel so embarrassed. The truth is that there is so much important information for us in the relationship we have with food and our bodies. This information is not a reflection of how weak, inadequate or dysfunctional we are. It can provide us with important clues about what it is that we are really struggling with and what we are trying to cope with, manage, soldier through, medicate, and yes, even heal! All addiction is an attempt to heal. All addiction is an attempt to find a way to address events and the following thoughts and feelings about these event that were never fully processed, evolved and resolved. Most of us are not encouraged to take the time to dive into our patterns and issues so that we can heal them and release them. We are often encouraged and even pressed to “get over it” and get on with things. These days we are frequently being told that we need to let go of certain thoughts and feelings. When we don’t know how to be with these thoughts and feelings we end up overriding and suppressing them instead of truly letting them go. There is a way to truly let them go.

There are extremely simple and powerful ways to effectively and even efficiently process all of these things so that we are not just suppressing everything and white knuckling our way through life. The remarkable thing is that when we know how, when we have the right methods, we can utilize all the things we want to change about ourselves as the means to discover what is already right here, inside, waiting to be fully realized about ourselves. We discover our strengths, our courage, our wisdom, and our best selves.

Before you go on to read this next paragraph I ask you to notice your reaction to it as you do. I mentioned above that I offer methods that are simple to use and easy to repeat because we do need to use them repeatedly. The truth is that we need to repeat the things that lead to our desired results because life is dynamic and ever changing and we are dynamic and ever changing also. If you are having a reaction to what I have written here it doesn’t mean that you are bad or wrong. It simply means that you are in distress. There is no shame in that. When we are uncomfortable or in pain it feels completely impossible to imagine that we can repeat anything that might be useful, helpful, or healing many times over. This discomfort and pain are the very guides that can wisely lead you to your success in unraveling this pattern. It is essential that we don’t just steamroll over or disregard the discomfort or pain. These are the very things that you are trying to work on and work out with the food. The discomfort and pain are clues to what needs to be processed , evolved and resolved so that doing things that are useful, helpful, and healing becomes easy and pleasurable. Yes! When we have discomfort and pain and the right methods to process them and resolve them we can actually feel pleasure in doing what we all know to be good for us. This is NOT possible when we are disregarding the discomfort and pain. My main objective is to offer you real and practical methods to process discomfort and pain. When we have real and practical methods that can be applied to whatever life presents we are no longer being blown around by life. The most astounding thing is that when we have the right methods it actually becomes enjoyable to work on and with discomfort and pain. The initial step is for you to see that the these methods work. The next step is using these methods so that they become part of your everyday life and then you can continue to use them through out your lifetime.

Earlier I mentioned that there are many hungers. We often ignore many of our hungers for all sorts of reasons. We don’t ignore them because we are lazy or bad. We ignore them because they can stir up discomfort and pain. It is actually reasonable to want to push pain away. It hurts. No one wants to hurt. It is very hard to explore our many hungers while we are suffering and distracted by a chaotic and tumultuous relationship with food. The purpose of focusing on the first three hungers helps to organize our relationship with food. This is not a diet. The first three hungers we will focus on are mouth hunger, stomach hunger and emotional hunger. We don’t do this to embarrass or shame you. We do this so that we can learn from what we are doing with food. When we can look at a pattern objectively and with compassionate curiosity we can learn so much from it. How we eat, why we eat, when we eat, and what we eat, provide us with so much information and support for our healing. This stage of focusing on the first three hungers is really about finding a way to respectfully and lovingly discover and uncover what we are working and how we are working on it with food. Ironically, dieting, even so-called successful dieting may result in weight loss but frequently it doesn’t result in healing. So many of us loose weight, and then gain weight, and then loose it again, over and over without gaining any real understanding of just what it is we are trying to do with food. We come away feeling like we are broken, or stupid, or undisciplined and incapable of getting a grip on ourselves and the food. This is a terrible and incredibly inaccurate conclusion to have and to live with about ourselves. I know from working with people on this pattern for 30 years that it is more accurate to say that if we are compulsively overeating we haven’t yet found a way to use and explore this pattern to edify ourselves and to direct our attention to what needs attending and healing. I want to emphasize that healing is a process. It is not a singular event. So many of us have been led believe that if we just loose the weight we’ll be finished with the problem. The food is not the problem and the weight is not the problem. They are the indicators of the problem.

While I do not promote any particular food plan there are things about food and the biochemistry of food and how that triggers and supports overeating and food addiction that can only help to understand one the reasons why the pattern can be tenacious. Ultimately you will decide what food plan works and doesn’t work for you. The process and the tools that I offer gives us courage to really be honest with ourselves about how food works for us and why. An important part of the healing of this pattern is being able to recognize what foods work best for you specifically and why. There are so many different things attached to so many different foods and the science behind what is healthy food and unhealthy food can be contradictory. There are foods that are just factually addictive. These are sugar, salt and fat. I have never worked with anyone who reported having a problem with eating too much broccoli. Sugar, salt and fat and some varying combination of these are usually the foods that become irresistible in one way or another. If we are overeating these foods this indicates that we are working on something with the food. And it also indicates that likely there is a lack of understanding of how to combine foods so that the foods themselves are not triggering biochemical reactions and unwanted behavior. Part of the work I do involves bringing mindful awareness processes to our bodies, to the internal experiences and issues, to the environmental issues, to the food itself and the effect the food has on us. When we begin to pay attention to all of these things we begin to have a much better understanding of what we are working on, how we are working on it, and why we are doing what we are doing with food. And we have a much better chance of successfully negotiating with all of these things and and healing the pattern.

I offer a safe, supportive, gentle, non-diet approach to the work using a combination of processes of self inquiry, the most up to date energy and body/mind technologies, imagination and intuitive process, and mindfulness practice. I am fully trained as a traditional psychotherapist but do not practice therapy with people outside of the state of New York, USA. I do however bring 30 years of training, knowledge, and experience to the work I do with clients on behalf of dissolving the pattern of overeating and food addiction.

I can show you the methods I write about here in 10 weeks. In 10 weeks you will have a working knowledge of what these methods are and how to use them. In 10 weeks you will be able to go off on your way and explore these methods without me. I am happy and honored to share these things with anyone who is interested in finding out what I am writing about here. Most people who give me 10 weeks of their time report that what I have shared does help a lot. The pattern of overeating and food addition is so multilayered that I recommend that you consider being open to spending more than 10 weeks with me so that you can really practice these processes and make them a part of your life. I recommend that you allow me to take you more deeply and further along your path so that you have a real foundation and a genuine and abiding facility with these processes. Most people who spend a year working with me report that they are completely changed and that the old patterns no longer have a tenacious hold on them or they are no longer present at all. If they “slip” they don’t go barreling into the abyss endlessly overeating anymore. They report that they are no longer prone towards continuing days, weeks or months at a time engaging in old behaviors because they now have so much experience with and confidence in the methods. They actually report that they now enjoy when challenges come up because they have a collection of truly effective and powerful responses to all kinds of things that come up in life.

I know for some folks 10 weeks is daunting enough both financially and in length of time. For others three months or six months might be what they can invest in their self discovery and healing. There is no right or wrong in this. Each person’s process and healing unfolds individually. I recommend that you start where you feel you can and see how that works for you. If you find that 10 weeks is your limit in both finances and in time, at least you will have a collection of methods that you can begin to use on your own that will definitely show you the path out of the woods. You will have direction, focus and skills. You will be able to see through your direct experience if what I have to offer really does deliver what I am saying it does.; I recommend that you sign up for the 10 week series and see for yourself. This offers you the freedom to stop after 10 weeks if you like or go on after that only if you find what we are doing is truly making a difference in your life.

I work with folks all around the world over the phone or using SKYPE. The sessions are an hour long. The first ten sessions are cumulative and should occur within a reasonable amount of time so that integrating them makes sense. You are not required to continue after the first ten sessions. I ask that folks sign up and pay for the full series of ten sessions. The fee for this series is $1850.00. This is discounted from my regular rate per session hour. If you decide to continue right after the first ten sessions you can still take advantage of the discounted rate. I offer an initial free consultation so that we can meet and decide if there is a mutual fit. I do not accept any kind of insurance. I accept payment by check or credit card.