I chose to use this quote today for the blog because many of us get stuck on either fixating on success or fearing failure. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting success. Contrary to many wisdom teachings the problem isn’t wanting success. The problem is getting stuck in the wanting. If we want something, success, wealth, health, relationship, and we don’t get what we want when we want it, some of us tend to use that as evidence of something completely untrue about ourselves. We start thinking thoughts like, “I’m not good enough.”, or “I’m not smart enough.” The one thought that I particularly find troublesome is, “I’m too lazy.” We use the word lazy to put ourselves down instead of exploring why it is that we aren’t able to take action steps on our behalf. Are we low on energy and just plain tired? If yes, then why? Are we depressed? Are we frightened? Are we overwhelmed? And in some cases we need to ask ourselves are we physically ill? The label lazy is just punishing and not helpful.
Back to wanting, it’s OK to want success, health, wealth, and relationships. It’s OK to want to be Self aware and enLightened. It’s not only OK, it’s completely natural to want these things. When we want these things and we don’t get them what can we do? The first thing is to recognize that it is normal to want these things and to welcome the wanting. Allow that feeling of wanting to be here fully. Welcoming wanting can bring up lots of old thoughts and feelings tied into the wanting. Those old thoughts and feelings are often filled with conflicting and obsolete beliefs. We are not the same person we were when we were five or ten years old. And we aren’t the same person we were last year or even last week. We are constantly learning new things about ourselves and the world around us. This is the natural and inevitable learning curve that we are all on. Many of us don’t acknowledge what we have learned overtime and how these things have contributed to the ways in which we have changed and grown. And when we don’t acknowledge how much we’ve learned and changed and grown we loose sight of how we are always learning, changing and growing. Being fixated on the end result can be a strength because it keeps us focused on where we want to be headed. However when we find that we aren’t landing where we hoped to land we can get discouraged and we loose sight of where we have come from, what we have learned and already accomplished and what we have heroically survived.
Life is always going be filled with twists and turns. Sometimes those twist and turns are small and barely noticeable. Other times they are uncomfortable and even jarring. The challenge is to find a way to negotiate adeptly with the twists and turns. Learning how to “let go”, how to “release”, is central to being adept at navigating the twist and turns of life. Letting go of what we think our process or path or outcome is supposed to look like and how we think we are supposed to get to that outcome supports us more constructively than holding tight to what we think we know about how things are supposed to unfold or how things are supposed to look. And being curious is the well spring of resilience in the face of all the twists and turns of life. Curiosity opens our vision and leads us to new ways to interpret the data. We see different ways to connect the dots, new emerging pathways and new ways to traverse the new pathways. Asking questions like, “How is this rejection a protection and how is it a redirection?”, “Let’s see what happens if I try this right now.”, and “How do I define success for myself right now?” and “What can I learn about myself and the situation that will edify me and bring me satisfaction right now?” And finally, “How do I define satisfaction?” If we maintain an open and curious mind we discover that satisfaction is always available to us. Learning new ways to see ourselves, learning new skills, refining old skills, and asking questions like, “What else do I need to know about this or myself?” will keep propelling us forward no matter how many twists and turns we encounter.