There is a great deal of popular dogma about negative thoughts and feelings. I will address this here and in other Blogs. This pressure is founded on the idea that thoughts and feelings have the power to create our reality. This idea has some merit however, when the idea that thoughts and feelings have the power to create our reality causes people to fear a seemingly non-positive thought and feeling we run into the problem of covering over what is bubbling up inside us and either ignoring these things or over-riding them.
There are two fundamental ways to let go. One is to simply drop a thought or a feeling. How to do that will be discussed fully many times over in my blogs. But for now let’s focus on the second most fundamental way to let go. Welcoming is the second most fundamental way to let go. Welcoming is one of the most powerful ways to let go and is akin to what many refer to as mindfulness. Synonyms for welcoming are; notice, allow, open to, invite, be with, sit with, make room for, give space to, observe, witness etc. Welcoming is actually paradoxical in that when open to deep feelings and/pr extreme feelings we discover that eventually they release, or dissipate. I sometimes call this the sneaky way of letting go because thoughts and feelings that are allowed to be here in the way that they are, as much as they are do eventually dissolve. Those of us in who practice more traditional ways of supporting peoples’ process may come to see this as an attempt to disregard deep feelings or extreme suffering but it is quite the opposite. It is simply the result of fully being with these deep feelings and extreme suffering.
As a friend or family member of someone suffering from depression, there are several things you can do to help. Depression is an illness and someone who is depressed is, therefore, not always themselves. So try not to judge someone who is indifferent, uninterested or who reacts strongly. In any event, it is important to keep talking to one other, without putting too much emphasis on this. Often the sufferer feels isolated with their thoughts, so the feeling of being able to talk about it already helps. Just being there for someone suffering from depression is sometimes enough. But do also seek support for yourself, because coping with a loved one who is depressed also demands a lot from you.
Yes, Daniel, clinical depression is a challenge for some. Being able to listen without judgement can go a long way to helping people suffering with this to not feel isolated. Encouraging them to consult a professional is also recommended. The blog you are responding to is not pointing to clinical depression. It is pointing to the everyday spectrum of feelings that we all have. Many of us who are not suffering from clinical depression but feel blue occasionally or angry or fearful can sometimes think these feelings are negative or bad or wrong. Once we know how to process them we find that they are not negative or bad or wrong at all.